I don’t want to go…….

Well, the holidays have come and gone. Its back to work….oh, joy…..oh, joy. There is a reason they call it work….if it were fun we’d call it something else. While I will, gladly, admit that my teaching  job pales miserably in frustration, physical pain, and stress when compared to my old Military position, it can still find ways to get under my skin. But, that is beside the point today.

It is amazing to me that so many people are so happy to get back to work. Whether its after a long vacation, holiday break, or even a weekend, these people come hipity(?) hop gleefully to work….what is wrong with them???? I remember well when I was on active duty in North Dakota that we’d occasionally get snowbound and have to spend 2-3 days at home without electricity and/or any way to leave. My contemporaries would get back to work and they’d be all frustrated… They had spent 3 days stuck in the house with “that woman”, and they were fit to be tied. I was upset too. I had to leave “that woman” and return to the office with those clowns. I can’t imagine a situation where work is the place I go for happiness while home was full of frustration. If I didn’t want to get snowbound with “that woman” I wouldn’t have married her. Now, as we approach our 27th wedding anniversary I still find the same to be true.

I believe it was New Year’s day I had awakened from our nap and was watching my wife sleep…she is so peaceful, especially when she sleeps, it is mesmerizing. I lose track of time when I watch her. While watching her it occurred to me that I had been watching her for nearly 27 years, it seems like such a short time. I cannot believe it is slipping away so quickly. I cannot imagine life without her.

All that said, I feel sorry for others who don’t feel that way about their spouse. It seems that my wife and I are in the minority…most relationships explode rather quickly for one reason or other. I have watched my friends and their trials and tribulations, I have watched the celebrities on the news, I have watched those with more money, I have watched those who look so much better than we do, and I find myself shaking my head at their folly. How much pain must they feel? Yet, they jump from relationship to relationship not changing the way they act. I’ve heard that the true definition of stupid is doing the same thing the same way over and over expecting different results.

It occurs to me that part of the reason that my wife and I have survived, as a couple, when others didn’t is the fact that, I truly appreciate what she brings to my life. She is not my property, but my partner in a world working hard to tear us apart. She is my best friend. I do understand that if most guys married their best friend it would sadly be Tom, Mark, John, etc. What does that say about the importance we place on those who have our children?

Well, I for one, have reached the end, once again, to a wonderfully quiet holiday season and must leave my wife to go to work tomorrow, the next day, the day after that, etc. and “they” will expect me to be happy…..aaaaarrrgggh. She will be asleep when I leave. I’ll step into the cold grey dawn as she snuggles…..aaaaaarrrrggggghhhh. Tomorrow the commuters around me will race and jockey for position flinging themselves toward work at a break-neck speed. I’ll let them pass….. I’ll ease my way to work, savoring the last few wisps of my wife’s presence, as the grumpiness of our separation envelopes me as I amble away, but only for a while, from here.